Life between borders

Living abroad was the best decision of my life. At the same time it’s also the reason for this everlasting longing feeling.

Ever since I first set foot in South Korea my heart hasn’t been feeling at home in one place only. Whenever I spent a longer time period in Switzerland I started missing Korea, my life and my friends there. And every time I was staying for a while in Seoul I started missing my home, friends and family in Switzerland.

I soon realised that that’s not going to change. Both places have their charms, but also their disadvantages. And I could be happy living in either place. It wasn’t easy to make the decision where I wanted to stay. That’s why I kept travelling back and forth between the countries and even today I have a hard time staying in one place for a longer period of time.

Other expats were different from me. Some of them were happy with a short stay. Others were positive that they’re moving abroad forever. But I have also met people who changed their decision after a while.

My professor at Graduate School kept saying that she doesn’t know anyone who adapted as well to Korea as I did, and still it was me who decided to move back to Switzerland after my graduation.

I keep remembering her words. It’s true. I had successfully built a social network, was independent and felt part of Korean society. I also had put in effort to have structured daily schedules and divers freetime activities, regularly meet friends and build an independent life.

So, why did I even want to move back to Switzerland?

In the end rationality overweighted everything. A lot of Koreans kept asking me: Why are you moving from Switzerland to Korea? For a lot of them Switzerland is their utopia. And I could hardly deny, that life in Switzerland is in many ways easier – at least if you were born and raised there. Free time, high wages and a lot of freedom are things I have gotten used to.

Another reason is my connection to my family. It doesn’t matter what friends you make abroad, no one can replace your family. And at a certain age it becomes clear how short life is. Don’t I want to spend my time with my family? You can’t turn back time after all. Every time I travelled back to Switzerland my parents seemed to have grown older. And it scared me.

In the end I had to admit that it’s easier for me to live and work in Switzerland and travel for holidays to Korea. The other way around it would have been harder regarding time and money.

I don’t regret my decision. And I’m just about to travel back to my second home for holidays. But I also know that I have a new dream now. A personal utopia: A life between borders. Living in two countries simultaneously.

If you’re considering moving abroad I would definitely encourage you to do so. It’s an experience no one can ever take away from you.  And you might regret it your whole life if you don’t do it. But you also have to be aware that your heart might start longing for different countries. And that heartache can sometimes be hard to bear.